The Severance Line
by Linda-Nairika
Summary: Severus Snape is sitting on a branch of an old maple on the day, when he received his Hogwarts Letter, deep in thoughts. It's high time to contemplate, isn't it?
1. Preface

**Preface**

My intention is to tell you a long story about the Master of Dreams, and this is the first set of episodes, which is focused on his childhood before Hogwarts.

My story "A Master of Dreams" is a prologue to the series, but it's up to you, whether you read it before or after "The Severance Line", because the events described in the prologue would happen much later than the ones I am about to speak of here. As for the continuation of the tale from the point, where "A Master of Dreams" ends, it will follow soon, too. I do hope you won't mind some _parallelism_ in reading.

This is an AU because of Severus Snape's parents. And I can't be sure I'll stay within the canon in every detail. ;)


	2. Chapter 1 That's your reality

**Disclaimer:** I claim nothing, save the right to dream. I get nothing, save some pleasure from this process.

**Note:** I promise there will be enough mysteries in Severus Snape's biography even after you read this chapter, though it may seem I have already told everything. ;) I'm just arranging the setting for one of the episodes.

**The Severance Line**

_by Linda-Nairika_

_**Chapter 1. That's your reality.**_

Shady Hall was cloaked in soft twilight. The evening veil had smoothed out the sharp contours of the walls and towers, blurred the outlines of trees in the park and laid dense shadows in the alleys.

On a branch of an old maple, almost indiscernible behind a curtain of foliage, there sat the heir of one of the oldest wizarding families in Europe. He was perfectly aware that he shouldn't be sitting there, but what would another broken interdiction change, if his very existence seemed to be nothing more than one continuous offence?

His mother, Dorothea Isabella de Espada, got married, when she was seventeen; and two years later she ran away with… well, someone. A musician. A Muggle. The raven-head Spanish beauty left behind all the gifts from her former husband, including a small bundle named Severus Alexander. Augustus Sebastian Snape registered his divorce and married again within a month from the date of his wife's flight. And soon it became clear to the society nobody was recommended to as much as mention that the Lord of Shady Hall had ever had another spouse, instead of Lady Silvia von Vogelweide. In nine months after the wedding Gaius Bertold Snape, a charming boy with his father's amber eyes and Lady Silvia's auburn locks, was born; three years passed, and little Alana Christine followed, a lovely girl, whose hair reminded to an on-looker of a ripe chestnut - just like her father's, while her eyes were a perfect replica of her mother's hazel ones.

That marriage would be absolutely happy, if not for one unfortunate fact. An unfortunate person, to be precise. Augustus Snape could have destroyed all the portraits of the woman who had betrayed him, but his older son was a live reminder of her. And not only to the Lord himself, but to anyone who'd happen to see that family. Beside his brown-haired father, stepmother and rosy-cheeked stepsiblings Severus looked like a nestling in the wrong nest. His soft bluish-black locks, fiery black eyes and milky-white complexion caused the expert people to sigh and made the ignorant ones doubt Lady Silvia's virtue. The woman apparently foresaw those doubts from day one and could not forgive her stepson for being the reason of such a disgrace. On the other hand, Augustus Snape hadn't forgiven his traitorous ex-wife and could not forgive _her_ son. Keeping the family's honour, Augustus Snape hadn't sent his first-born child away, and Severus remained his older son and heir – to Lady Silvia's permanent dismay.

Severus didn't remember his mother at all. Dorothea was too young to enjoy fussing over a baby, so the boy ended up in a nurse's care. In a short while the nurse was replaced by a number of teachers, whom Augustus Snape informed that their duty was to educate the little heir, not to spoil him or indulge into conversations on irrelevant themes. Severus studied diligently and willingly, to his teachers' unspoken admiration, and waited patiently. As a five-years-old he knew a lot about patience and was ready to overcome anything, if it helped him to penetrate the wall, which separated him from his father. However, despite all his successes, the boy had never heard a word of praise or recognition from the Lord of Shady Hall, let alone the Lady; and his little "feats", like climbing the highest tree in the park or riding his pony with no saddle, led to punishments only, and it was not the kind of attention he actually desired.

Severus' confusion was doubled with the fact that he saw how mild and careful his father could be, while rocking his baby-daughter, playing with a small auburn-haired toddler, talking to his wife or even patting a dog. Principally the boy shouldn't have seen either of these because Lady Silvia resolutely insisted that Severus had to not make appearance in the salon, where the family spent evenings; but it was so easy to forget about the boy's presence - he sat with a book in a niche of the window, instinctively trying to come nearer to a source of warmth, which he missed sorely. However, when Severus grew older and identified that desire, he stopped giving in to it and went upstairs to his own room without any reminders.

Severus did not feel envy towards the white bundle of a baby, that little boy or a dog neither till this moment of understanding, nor after that. Instead he was painfully bewildered and wondered what was so terribly wrong and disgusting about him. Scooping ideas about the bad and good from books, the boy found plenty of faults and shortcomings in himself; however the most captious researches did not give him any answer to the question of his totally inexcusable sin. Knowing, that Lady Silvia was "My Lady", not "Mother", he didn't expect anything from her, but Augustus Snape's chilling attitude oppressed and tormented him. That man was his father, wasn't he? The teachers confirmed that indirectly… Then why?..

…One day he found out.


	3. Chapter 2 Happy Birthday!

**_Chapter 2. Happy Birthday!_**

It was almost amusing, really. His Birthdays seemed to be the unluckiest days in his life.

By the day he turned nine years old Severus had already understood the tendency, so he tried to be as unnoticeable as possible and preferably outside. Not that it really helped, but at least he tried.

Of course, January was too cold to sit and read, so Severus went either to the forest, which lay behind Shady Hall, or to a lake nearby. But that morning he didn't feel like skating, and the idea of wandering through the snow lacked in attractiveness all of a sudden. _Headaches can do the strangest things to your preferences._

The boy put his winter coat on and slipped out into the park.

Big lacy snowflakes descended from the sky, slowly and gracefully. Severus pulled one of his gloves off, stretched his arm forward and moved his fingers slightly. A group of the snowflakes paused in the air and rearranged themselves into an image of a shining silver-white castle – as if an invisible painter had drawn a dotted line of the magnificent silhouette. Severus _caught _another collection of the snowflakes – and the castle got surrounded with a forest. The boy added several low hills in front of the castle and a couple of deer. _Alana will like it_, he thought, appraising the airborne picture.

The thought about his little sister brought a fleeting smile to his lips. Lady Silvia made it quite clear that she didn't want him near her children – or herself. When she was pregnant, she declared the boy was too ugly to look at, while bearing a child, and Severus was confided to his room. Later Lady Silvia stated that Severus would certainly harm Bertold and Alana and demanded to make it an official rule for the boy not to interfere with his stepsiblings' life. Augustus Snape agreed, claiming dinner-time to be the only exception. Six-years-old Severus dared to ask for an explanation – and met the consequences, which clarified nothing, but his own hopeless stupidity. So he accepted another incomprehensible thing in his existence and acted accordingly until the day he truly met his little stepsister.

**xxx**

…_Severus walked along the corridor to the library for his next lesson with his father and was passing Alana's room, when he heard her cry plaintively. He slowed down involuntarily and listened for Madam Meghan, the nurse, or Lady Silvia to console the baby, but her crying did not cease, and there was no sound of movement in the room._

_Severus bit his lip for a second, then pushed the door and looked in. Nobody was there, save Alana in her cradle. The boy approached shyly, seized the cradle edge and shook it slightly. The crying became quieter and acquired somewhat interrogative intonations, while the dark eyes looked up unhappily. The boy shook the cradle again and tentatively stroked one warm cheek with his fingertips. _

"_Don't cry, little berry," he said softly._

_The baby calmed down suddenly, as if puzzled by the nickname, and begun to examine her visitor with open curiosity. The boy pushed the cradle slightly again, and Alana blinked drowsily. She was so cute! And tiny… and tender… Severus studied the girl in awe and couldn't help but smile at this baby-miracle. Alana smiled, too, and snatched the boy's finger with her hand. Severus tried to re-gain his property, but the little girl protested expressively, and Severus gave in for the moment. Watching the girl, Severus remembered something from the book he read once. _

_A lullaby. _

_He had never heard any, but he had inherited an ear for music from his mother, so it was easy to pick up the hidden melody of the poem and to begin singing quietly. Alana evidently approved of his improvisation, smiled again and closed her eyes. In a minute she was sound asleep, and Severus unclenched her fingers carefully to free his own. Concentrated on his task of singing and finger-liberating, the boy did not hear, when the door of the room opened, therefore his stepmother's voice made him jump a little. _

"_What are you doing here?" the woman was forced to hiss - not to disturb her sleeping daughter. _

"_Alana was crying, My lady, and I…"_

"_Don't give me your excuses," Silvia interrupted him._

_Severus broke off and briefly pondered the difference between an excuse and an explanation, but kept the result to himself._

"_What were you doing, when I entered?" Silvia raised her voice a notch._

"_I was rocking Alana to sleep."_

"_You little liar! You were singing!"_

"_Yes…" Severus confirmed, vaguely bemused. _

"_Your father has forbidden singing!" Silvia declared triumphantly._

_Severus gaped at the woman. "Why?"_

"_Do you question your father's order?"_

"_But they always sing lullabies to kids," the boy reasoned, evading the direct answer and appealing to the theory once more._

_The sound of a sonorous slap in the face woke the baby, and Alana began to cry again. _

_Lady Silvia grabbed the girl from the cradle and glared at her stepson. "Look what you have done," she said icily. "Get out of here, you wretch. Lord Augustus will deal with you later." _

"_Nevertheless," Severus repeated, as if nothing had happened, "they **do** sing lullabies to kids." He reached up and patted Alana's leg gently; the baby calmed down instantly and beamed down at him. _

_Lady Silvia obviously hadn't expected such impudence from him, so she just stared after Severus as he went out of the room and closed the door accurately._

**xxx**

The rest of that day was really unpleasant to remember, but Severus had no regrets. It was so wonderful to touch Alana's hand and to be smiled at; to sing to her and to get his finger captured in return… She didn't find him nasty or repulsive. Of course, she was just a baby, she wouldn't know…

As the children grew older, it was getting more and more difficult to keep them apart – simply because of the space two pairs of unrestrained little legs could cover, even if the third pair of legs tried to walk another paths and corridors. Still the younger children saw Severus in the salon from time to time and they had dinner together. It was just natural that Bertold and Alana got curious…

Severus was seven already, and he had his hands full without additional trouble, but every time he observed his stepsiblings, he got mesmerized in spite of himself. They were so… different. Or was it he who was different?..

And then Mr. Evergreen, one of the teachers, made his impossible offer to Augustus Snape and his wife – why shouldn't they ask Severus to work at his younger brother handwriting? Surely the two boys would understand each other perfectly, and it could really make a difference…

Lady Silvia didn't appreciate the idea, but Augustus Snape did, and Severus found himself tutoring his stepbrother – first in writing, then in arithmetic, then in wand-practice… Initially Alana was not a part of the scheme, but the girl ran all over the house freely and eventually got to the class-room. Unlike Bertold, she stayed there willingly…

Severus envisioned his sister's lovely face, smiled again and took a deep breath. He didn't want to think she would ever change in the way Bertold had changed. Yes, the auburn-haired boy had always been somewhat capricious and thoughtless… and a bit vindictive, but he hadn't had that malicious slyness in him. And…

"What are you doing here?"

Severus snapped out of his reverie with a start. This question usually was a prelude to the things he didn't enjoy in the slightest. He let the snowflakes go and turned around to face his father, feeling a heavy piece of ice forming inside.

"I am…" Severus paused, seeking for an adequate answer.

"…indulging in silly games with wandless magic, I see," Augustus Snape supplied sardonically. "If my memory serves me right, I told you not to waste your time, when you have something useful to do. How would you explain your current leisure activities, when you haven't finished your essay on the 12th century charms yet?"

"I have almost finished it, sir."

"It must be ready in two hours."

"But…" Severus bit his tongue, remembering it was no sense to argue.

"Any comments?" the man asked coldly.

His tone was less than stimulating, but the words were out before the boy could stop himself. "You said I could have three hours of spare time on my Birthday…"

"…in case you didn't have other assignments," Augustus Snape elaborated. "You are nine years old; it's time to be more responsible. Besides, I haven't given you any permission to interrupt me."

"I haven't," Severus pointed out, though he really knew better than that.

The amber eyes pierced him like arrows. "Beg. You. Pardon?.."

"I said I hadn't interrupted you, sir."

"It looks like I am going too easy on you," Augustus Snape remarked. "Rest assured, I won't hesitate to correct the situation. And there is another matter. Bertold told me you kept singing to Alana. I though I made it clear enough you are not allowed to do it."

Severus dropped his glove and met his father's eye. Why are nearly all his pleasures forbidden? Why can't he enjoy anything even on his Birthday? And why wouldn't anyone explain him all these unfathomable things so that he could stop being a fool?

"Why?" Severus asked quietly, reducing all his questions to this key-word.

"Because I say so," the Lord of Shady Hall uttered very distinctly. "And if you directly or indirectly raise this topic once more, while conversing with anybody, you'll have all the reason to wish you have never been born."

"I wish it even without this," the boy said almost inaudibly, closing his eyes. His rebellious mood hadn't left him yet, but its bitter taste was numbing.

"So do I," Augustus Snape confirmed with a grimace.

And something died.

Something very small and almost imperceptible.

Severus looked up. "I am sorry, but that didn't depend on me," he noted tonelessly.

Augustus Shape scowled darkly and promised, "Your insolence will bring you double punishment tonight."

Severus didn't seem to care. Moreover, a corner of his lips twitched once as if ready to curl in a grin. "Yes, sir. You can make it treble, can't you…"

The Lord of Shady Hall was far from amused. "I can and I will," he pronounced very slowly, fixing his son with a dark glare. "Perhaps, it will teach you to think before you say something. In two hours you are expected in my workshop. With your essay."

The boy didn't watch him leave. Instead, Severus turned around and once again seized a bunch of snowflakes for his magical painting. In a moment a marvelous horse appeared in front of him, saddled and bridled. The boy reached for the reins, but his arm fell before he touched them. With one curt gesture he _deleted_ the horse and bent down to retrieve his glove. It was soaked through, and he spent some time, shaking the snow off with mechanical precision. Then Severus stopped and assessed the result of his efforts. Acceptable.

"Happy Birthday," he murmured distractedly – and seized the glove with his teeth.


	4. Chapter 3 Healing?

_**Chapter 3. Healing?.. **_

Doctor MacLean frowned at his patient disapprovingly. The fever was gone; the cold had been cured by his second visit; the lacerations on his back were healing, but the boy was still in bed and didn't show any signs of being eager to get up. In fact, he was as far from eager to do anything as it probably gets. The only thing, which allowed calling his condition apathy and not catatonia, was that he answered the doctor's question – in polite and colourless monosyllables.

It was very unlike all the previous cases and in contradiction to everything Robert MacLean had come to know about the boy since his first visit four years before. Of course, that latest incident had been somewhat specific. At the very least, it had been the first emergency call – and a well-based one, though the Lord immediately confirmed the policy would stay the same – just basic healing to eliminate the danger. Doctor MacLean didn't judge his decision. The MacLeans never did, when dealing with the Snapes, whose healers they had been for centuries. So Robert MacLean simply nodded and got to work, having told the boy to be still, though it probably had gone mostly unheard because his young patient was half-conscious and obviously far from rationally cooperative. Not that he was stirring on purpose... Two hours later the doctor checked the boy's pulse and risked suggesting to give him something for pain to relieve the stress. "What's the sense of a punishment, if a painkiller follows?" Augustus Snape replied coolly and administered some heart-supporting potion. Well, it was five days before, and the boy's stay in bed was three days overdue… all right, maybe two, but he certainly should have already been up.

Doctor MacLean sighed impatiently, not trying to hide his annoyance.

"Severus Alexander Snape, I really have no time for games. But I will try again. How are you?"

"Fine."

Oh, really? "Are you in pain?"

"No."

Not quite true, but never mind. "Does anything disturb you?"

"No."

"Then why, for Merlin's sake, are you feigning a half-dead here?" the doctor asked in a sharp voice.

Closed-eyed silence.

"You are just too capricious," MacLean muttered, gathering his belongings vehemently, "the most whimsical and ungrateful child on this Earth."

"Am I?" the boy inquired unexpectedly.

The doctor dropped his bag, in which he was putting his accessories. "Of course, not!" he exclaimed.

"Then why have you told me this?" The dark gaze was searching the adult's face for something.

"Well, I…" Robert MacLean paused, suddenly uncertain. It was hard to formulate a proper answer, for some reason. "I was upset and did not know what to do with you; and it's quite unfortunate for a healer. Well… Have you never said anything you don't really think?.."

"I haven't," Severus replied shortly.

The doctor was at a loss for a moment. "It's... It is creditable," he said, at last.

"Creditable?" The boy had pronounced the word as if he didn't know its meaning. "As in good?"

"Certainly."

"Odd…" the boy whispered.

"Why so?" The doctor had completely forgotten he had been leaving.

Severus opened his mouth, as if about to answer, but immediately pressed his lips together and pulled the blanket up to his chin. "Just odd," he replied neutrally. "So… you were upset because you did not know, how to treat me, and it could harm your reputation?" The bright eyes stared at the man, unblinking.

The doctor cleared his throat, quite perplexed. "You are a very clever child, if you understand such a matter..."

To his utter surprise, the boy did not smile at the praise; instead, he sighed abruptly and lowered his eyelashes, but the doctor had time to detect a strange mixture of melancholy and humility in the black depths.

However, when Severus looked up again in a second, his eyes were calm and unreadable. "Don't worry," he said with a half-smile, which made him look older and younger at the same time. "I'll be well tomorrow, I promise. But now I am going to sleep, if you don't mind."

"Of course," the doctor spread the blanket, avoiding the boy's eyes. "Sweet dreams."

"Thank you, sir. Good-bye."

Was there a trace of irony in his little patient's voice? The doctor wasn't ready to consider this. He grabbed his bag, smiled to the boy somewhat nervously and left.

Severus closed his eyes again and tried to concentrate.

He had promised.

_ i __Does it matter? _

Yes.

The boy took an experimental breath. The air obediently came in, and it was weird because he felt absolutely and thoroughly dead.

**x****xx**

_I have promised. _

Severus awoke with this thought and clung to it to drag himself out of bed and through the day. The house elves cheered openly, when he agreed to eat a little, and he smiled his thanks for their joy. The poor creatures didn't dare to break the Elder Master's orders and to utter a spare word to any human being in Shady Hall, especially him, but they didn't like to see the Young Master in distress. And it was enough to be grateful for.


End file.
